Princess Pam

2011-01-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

Hey Ya lovely readers, I've moved. Do follow me on my new blog.....

Click here to be directed to my new blog.

thank you for your support. *smiles*

god bless.

2011-01-10T14:07:00.000+08:00

So things changed.
After almost one whole rough month. We finally want things to be officially known. I'm glad. He always took one step before me trusting this and God. Love his amazing faith. Secretly also, my prayer has been answered. Many things took place in the past month cum new years. I realized many beautiful things and alot of other disappointing facts too. However, this is life and it's a journey. We tend to make mistakes in choosing and analyzing. we tend to make wrong friends and trusting wrong people. our choices may be wrong but let our intentions be right.

We can plan but God knows a better plan... I realized that 2010 was one heck of a memorable journey. I made mistakes, I made new friends, I met new people, I realized I was clinging unto junk. Realized who my true friends were...In short I feel blessed. I manage to have a better accountability. I manage to have a new better and anointed mentor who seeks the heart of Jesus. I learnt also that encouragement is the key to best relationships in life. When we read the bible, it's filled with encouraging words from God. We are the joint heir of Christ & children of God, we are apart of him too, hence we should be people of encouragement. In goods and bads God has never failed to be there for us, sometimes at the last minute...he comes. He sure will come.

I had a great end to 2010.
December was a remarkable year where I was released from being blindfolded to see the truth. December was a great month for me despite all the struggles and hardships, Jesus has another beautiful way of bringing joy into my heart.

Now, I'm thankful for all those hardships and struggles, I thankful for all the unwanted circumstances and problems, not forgetting also the misunderstandings through out 2010 i had with people. It's through all those moments where I realized great and beautiful things.

This holidays has kept me thinking and realizing all those moments. I realized who were friends,what I had to do to carry on in life. wow. totally amazing.

God's love is always overflowing. If we manage to absorb in it we'll also receive the overflowing love of God direct from heaven. His lovely embrace, his lovely revelations in many ways, his lovely blessings and his great plans.

I'm overjoyed to boldly confessed I'm proud to be a Christian. =)

Hope ya'll have a great day.
God bless.

Love,
Pam =)

2011-01-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

heya readers...
So I've been pretty busy lately & Yes I sure dont have internet fixed yet at home. I've no clue watsup with brother & dad. Well a discussion of fixing the UniFi is still in progress.

My new year was fantastic. Church was phenomenal. I mean although they were only 20weeks old on the 2nd Jan 2011 but it was amazing. God's presence was surely there. We were all soaked in the presence. It was pretty great for an awesome start. (I'm talking about Life City Church)

Alot of other good stuff happened too. Like realizing love and the beauty of it. Realizing that sometimes we must just never say never. I am happy for all the good blessings.

I received a really great book as a Christmas gift from Loreen. It's written by Rick Warren and it's really good. Thanks Loreen. I love to read, so receiving books feels great.

There is alot I would love to write about God's amazing love, but time is sure not on my side right now. I hope I'll get my internet connection fixed back...soon =)

I know I promised to come out with my new blog by now. it's all ready but because of the internet I've not been able to do any post or launching. probably sooner.

I'm missing Pris Patel so much. I dont know where is she and what's she been up to.. Pris if ure reading this, u have ALOT to update me with. oxox.

Well, will update sooner again lovely readers.

p/s : to my lovely garfie, you are awesome the way you are. God's plans are amazing for u. Continue to dream =)

2011-01-01T21:13:00.002+08:00

hey ya peeps. I know I've been away. Yea sorry peeps. I've a really bad connection back at home at the moment... =)
Hope Ya'll stay on will update sooner :)

Love Ya'll

Happy New Year :D

2010-12-27T23:47:00.001+08:00

to hope is one of the attributes of a strong person.

Right now I'm not strong enough to hope or even wish.

I'm tired..

I am really really really tired of all this.

to cry seems even harder. guess my my tear bags has dried up.

now, I can only dream.

2010-12-26T22:30:00.001+08:00

a blessing from my previous rant & disappointment

So i was all emo because of how my dad is. I love my papa, I mean I know whatever done & said, I cant change, I'm sure I went through all the trouble was for a better tomorrow =)

As a Christian, I should always be positive but as a human I'm allowed to rant & be disappointed too sometimes...(i think) hahax.

Neways, As I closed in my last post that - God will never disappoint those who trusts in him. oh my lovely readers, indeed it's true. He definitely bring joy. *winx*.

I had a great time hearing to Ps.Molly's sermon this morning. I dint sleep the whole night so waking up wasnt an issue.Managed to persuade dad to take us for a yummy bak kut teh breakfast. I dint exactly go into a bak kut teh coma but it helped to "quence" my cravings for it.

then later in the evening we headed out for Life City Church Christmas Service at Syuen Hotel, Ipoh.

It felt awesome. I got my first christmas gift. they had a huge tree & santas & lots of food. oh gosh. Ps.Cogan preached a really good sermon on faith too. I'm indeed blessed. *smiles*

However simple Ipoh can be, I'm just blessed to know great people who are all souled out for Christ...

Feels great that my Christmas dint turn out so bad after all. Although mum feels a lil awkward that she dint manage to buy me anything for Christmas this year....I'm blessed already, I dont need the materialistic things of the world, I just want my both parents to love God...and seek Him, and walk by faith not by sight. That would be the best Christmas gift ever.

I am after all just a girl, however helpless I can be

I shall not be hopeless. For I have the best father in heaven who never fails them who seek him.

You know readers, being a Christian is indeed a journey to remember lifelong.

I'm very very very very happy to be chosen :)

Cheers all.

Have a blessed day...

Hope ya'll have a blessed week & enjoy the last 5 days of the year with unlimited blessings from God :)

2010-12-25T00:42:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas

May all of ya'll have a great blessed Christmas =)

Happy Birthday JESUS.

I'll love you forever =)

I know as long as my dad is going to be the way he is, i'll not have a Christmas....I've been looking forward for Christmas the whole year with so many plans in mind but all ruined. The pain is so deep that it gives me goosebumps everytime I think how sad my Christmas has been.... I did my best to put a smile on everyone's face, I tried my very best to have a best Christmas, but until my dad dont understand the true meaning of salvation, and that a journey of a Christian is a relationship & not religion, all this hope will just remain as hope.

All I ever asked for Christmas was to be happy it's ok if they cant give me a gift, or spend on dinner or anything, I dint ask for all those, I just want to be happy. I honestly ~~dont like~~ hate being here. I cant hold on to this anymore. Just half an hour ago,we had a fight. Half an hour before Christmas. The more I try to love him, and respect him, he just does something for me to just hate him more. I know I shudnt, I know I should forgive, I forgive him, but I cant forget what he has put me through. I cant forget all that I've to face as a young girl...he never stood up for me in anything not even now when I'm in need of just one simple Christmas wish - to be happy. Urgh. So Frustrating...

However, I believe in the word of God, I believe in his every promise. I know joy awaits. Just a little more. I'll tolerate this. I know it'll pass by....I'll just compromise to situation & seal all this pain in prayer. I wont stop dreaming. I wont stop hoping. I watched Beauty & the Beast-A Christmas Tale today. It felt great, when everyone in the mansion was just hoping to have a Christmas. I'll continue to hope, I know somewhere someday a beast will definitely turn into a man & have a heart.

Even though I dint get any gifts for Christmas. Just alot of sms & calls. I'm totally blessed to know my family in Christ still stands for me. . .If there is anything good about my 2010 Christmas, is the fact I managed to realize something & appreciate someone....and making that person apart of my life. Thank You Jesus for opening my eyes. =) Thank You also Yesus for using my younger brother to talk me through realization otherwise I'd be blinded till only you know when *winx* haha. Thank You sooo much. Love You extremely muchies Abba Yesus =)

Whatever said & done, however sad & painful can everything be, God will bring Joy for those who continues to trust in him. He abides in me, I'm his child & He is my one and only Father. I might not have the best biological father, but I sure do have the BEST EVER heavenly FATHER =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS

2010-12-23T15:25:00.002+08:00

Feeling a little unwell. I've a little cough, slight fever and a spinning head but I'm all good to go =)
I managed to sneak in extra sleep today. I guess I'm sick from all the sleepless nights,my body must be really exhausted. Must it be now? 2 days before Christmas ?
I might be the only one who is really free almost doing nothing but doing unnecessary work at home. I've not stepped out of the house at all. I've not hang out or anything. The only times I've gone out being caged is for Church or if mum has smtg to do outside & she wants me to follow her. I rather be caged then go out being here. I dont like the people, I dont like their stares & I definitely dont want to hear all their judgmental compliments. Please and thank you.

I dont want Christmas to just pass by like another day. I really want to do something for Christmas. I've not bought my self anything new for Christmas, I cant bake coz we dont have an oven at home, we dint even put up anything new at home. Everything is as it is. The only thing we did was put up our Christmas tree. =(
depressing-I know. Even Isha is having a FAMILY Christmas. Being miles away, with all her family here, she is actually having a great Christmas with her friends in UK....I'm here bumming. Having Christmas with myself. =( Argh. Lets not discuss it. very depressing.

Gee, I dint even manage to attend anykind of Caroling service. I obviously dint take part in FGA dinner plans. I've been cut out completely and I've no interest to know the reasons anymore..I dont want another 'pointing fingers moment'. OK! another depressing story. Pass this topic now!

I'm pretty contented being alone & just spending time hearing to sermons & reading alot of stuff I dint manage to catchup with throughout my studying period. I've been pretty busy as all know, but busy is good for me. I love being busy, it distracts me from thinking unnecessary stuff....now that I'm free and the only work I do is the routine chores that never ends, I get to think alot because I'm so used to doing the chores that I dont have to use a brain for it...hence it allows my brain to wander around the thoughts and makes me to think all sorta stuff. Happy moments, sad moments, regrets, decisions, and all sorta other stuff.

I've been stalking my letter box for the past one week, I think the postman might have chewed my letters...ok ridiculous! I thought atleast the festive season would do justice to fill something for me in the mail box...ok I received nothing so far. Not like I received anything before...ok pass this topic too. So then, as I was saying, same goes to phone calls. *jaw drop* if i receive a phone call, my parents would definitely be surprise. I've nt received phone calls on my house phone for ages long, my cellphone definitely has the least beeps compared to everyone else's at home..... (that reminds me to call RAS, he is back from AUSSIE - yey!) So guess, I still have hope for Christmas!!

I'm absolutely bored. I've no idea what else can I do, I've done so much changes in my room, from completely messed up, so something less messy. Help me folks. Give me a suggestion, what should I do.
p/s: no travelling please I've no bucks for that right now.

Argh!! a build up of frustration suddenly.

Guess I better get going, I should be resting. =)

Toodles readers.

May ya'll have a great Christmas.

Love,
Pam =)

2010-12-20T16:14:00.001+08:00

All I ask is what does it actually take to be happy ?

I just want to be happy but happy sounds so hard to achieve lately.

No wait, lately? ok I must be joking. LATELY still sounds recent & thats a lie.

I think I'm losing interest in sleep completely. I have thick dark circles now, but it doest encourage me to sleep at all. I can be so tired & almost at a condition of dragging my self to sleep but when I land on bed, I'll be wide awake. Then it's not good. All sorta things will be running in my mind. Goods,bads,funny,crazy,sad, almost everything and entirely anything. So i'll toss & turn and hear to music & tweet unlimited & scream & look out the window & start cleaning my room. anything that usually puts me to sleep now doesnt work anymore, I can spend a whole hour praying doesnt work still. I can spend another hour reading the bible, nopes doesnt too.

I'm not infected by insomnia. No i'm not.

So last night once again, I slept at almost 5am. and I woke up at 7.30am. am up till now. I had a slight nose bleed & my arm felt like it got hit on something so hard. Painful indeed. thanks to my brother who wrapped it up for me after rubbing some heated rub, now it's better. =) I have a lovely brother. Today I told him whats been happening about me & stuff...my brother is really wise...it makes me feel like i'm 10years younger. Ok i'm much innocent compared to him, thats true. thats why i get trashed & bullied. So he knowing I am deep down somewhat with an upside down smile, he bought me ice cream. My current craving - Kit Kat drumstick...thank you Jesus, I am really really blessed to have such an amazing brother.

Yesterday was FGA Christmas Dinner. I managed to meet some of my darling aunties. I was so happy to see Aunty Sarjit. She is one lovely lady completely souled out for Jesus. She is a really nice lady...just like how aunty Sujan is too. I mean both of em are really nice people. Dint manage to meet Ps.Ong & Ps. Molly. really miss them. Met Matt&Min. I really miss infuse. I just wish, things were different. I wish our view point met...guess then I wont feel so awkward. Urgh. Nvm. =)

Right now, I just want to pack up & go back to KL. Being here, makes me either emo or just to think unnecessarily. At least I will have Sue ling & Maybelle to hang out with in KL. I will also have my housemates & not forgetting Timmy :) Besides all that Yvonne is done with her exams & Tammy is free too =) Awesome, I can go kacau Aunty Val & bake gingerbread man with her *smiles* Can also call Sin Yee & kacau her. Sin Yee is really really adorable...she is so filled with life.amen. =)

I really hope to have a beautiful Christmas.

I have no expectations for Christmas from my mum & dad or anyone else. I just want to have a meaningful Christmas among people who love God.

I've alot to say, but I just dont want to make it an issue.
I've alot going on but I want to remove it by prayer.
I want things to be normal again because LOVE is not a game. I really value every bit & moment. because it took me ~~months~~ years to just let my self loose abit. I hope i dont run back into my cage, lock my self & eat the key :/ so i wont have a chance to escape or allow others to even get in.

Hermmms..

have a blessed day readers.

God Bless =)

Love,
Pam

p/s - everytime my phone beeps I wish, but when it's not what i expect I feel like throwing it out the window.

2010-12-19T15:27:00.000+08:00

what a day, i hardly slept....
I manage to catch my sleep at about 3am and then by 6am i was up due to diarrhea. So once I stopped visiting the toilet, i got my sleep back by 7 and i slept until 10ish when mum came & gave the wake up call. So i decide not to eat anything..because thats the best for me usually. URGH. Had to attend a lunch at my neighbor's place, and from then till now I've been the frequent traveler to the toilet. gee. I'm tired, drained & totally exhausted. Dehydrated or smtg. omg. So tired man. I've a dinner to attend like in less then 3 hours from now. If this continues I'll just pass-out....Ok I'm not that weak. haha.
The last I had the stomach flu was when I came back from India. It was massive. It was crazy because I was falling all over the place in the airplane .. I left a memory for all the passengers & also the cabin crews. haha.. I was dehydrated, I vomited all over the place. gross!! to even think of it makes me feel green. haha. However, before i boarded the plane I was cheering like mad..hoping i'd faint & miss the flight. That dint happen -.-" i had to take the flight back. I cried like mad to come back to Malaysia. believe it or not?? haha.

But now it's different, I'm really really not in the mood of getting this now....It's Christmas soon. I cant. I've much to achieve for 2010 Christmas. So just now, while i was seeking God's healing, Ps.Samson's message came to mind. Christ died for us, 2000yrs ago, he bore all our sickness & pain on his body. Hence, I was already healed, how can I be sick? Amen to that. Hope to bring my self twice closer to God by faith I was healed & be healed before Christmas dinner... =)

Gosh, hope to have some fun at the dinner later. awkward feeling is building up. I was hearing to Brian Houston's message on Negativity yesterday. Wow. I hope to hear to part 2 and part 3 today. =)
I'm off to get some rest & get dressed. I've decided to pair up my hot pants with a tee. I'm gonna go all casual. Not gonna give much emphasize. After all, if someone is going to be admiring me, it's better because of who I am not what I wear. Hahax. chows people.

Love ya'll.

Pam

Have a blessed Sunday

2010-12-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

As I said, I love pictures. so this explains a self portrait.

(Amen to "skills" i shall say. winx)

So it's Saturday night. A few more hours to Sunday. *scream* I rather be with Timmy now watching Metro Tabernacle Sketch then being here, feeling totally sick & bored...and looking for replacement for my extra tickets to church dinner tomorrow....

It's dinner tomorrow, Ok I'm aware of it. I'm just gonna go in with jeans & a tee. I've not found anything to wear & I'm not signing up for fancy dress competition so yeah..that explains =)

I had a great time at Friday night service yesterday. It was Ps.Samson Dabbas in the house people =D totally love his amazing spirit for God. It's like WAH...POWER!!!....he preachers according to the spirit, You just know it because in the middle of the sermon, he'd be all sweaty & full of umph..... His messages are full of spirit, gives u a new meaning to life. I'm so blessed to be stressed. Hahax. love that totally.

He was amazed to know I'm apart of Kingdom City KL.Hope he comes to preach at Kingdom City KL someday. It'll be amazing......

So guess I'm gonna go sleep early today =)

Love all,
Pam

have a blessed Sunday earthlings.

2010-12-17T15:00:00.000+08:00

owh It's FRIDAY already....Gosh time really passes by quick... Year is also coming to an end. Have i accomplish all that i wanted to for 2010? wait, i dint even have a resolution for 2010 actually. hermm. Wonder what was i busy with last year that I dint get the time to write my resolutions down........ hmmm

Christmas is next week. Seems like it's getting really really close. Still no plans yet. I am still hoping to get my self transported back to KL for Christmas Lunch & Christmas Sunday. Well, i deserve this fun atleast. I had a ~~fun and happening~~ long & challenging year. Battles that i faced in 2010 was just great, I'm glad now that I managed to go through them & it was all because Jesus was by my side... It was worth it. I managed to take my self a step closer towards trusting God better with all the struggles I went through in 2010. It was all for the better. I'm hoping to have a great explosive 2011. Well when i launch my new blog, ya'll will get an insight of my 2011 plans... *smiles*

I also hope to finally meet my prince charming in 2011.He ought to be a God fearing person. =)
Neways, I've decided to leave my relationship with a guy entirely to God. After all, Jesus knows the very best for me, he knows my heart & desires better then I do....

This sunday is FGA Christmas Dinner at Florex Restaurant Ipoh. So those who havent got their tickets, oopsie, I guess they've run out of seats but I still have two seats available to bless someone with it. Still thinking...wished G was here. I wanted so badly for G & Ken to come....but then G is at camp & Ken wont come without G. Plus info, I cant handle Ken alone without G. Sorry Ken.
So now, I'm looking for my friends whom I really want to bless, but they are all in KL...hermms. maybe mum has some people in mind. Hopefully.

So guess, that all for now, really looking forward for a beautiful year end.

God bless ya'll =)

Love,
Pam

2010-12-16T21:55:00.001+08:00

Whats been up with me...hermmmm
nothing much actually. Normal usual rants & spending ALOT of time with my self =)
Helped mum with all the dusting & cleaning. Thank God I managed to put up my christmas tree before my finals. atleast I have one thing less to worry about.

Christmas is in 9 days. Nothing planned up yet. Just have church Christmas dinner this Sunday & next week a whole alot more happening back at Kingdom City. I am hoping to pack up & go back to KL. I've been a little depressed lately. not to say depressed exactly, just upset...with situations. with my decisions. I'm just thinking if I've made the right decision...

I feel like I'm trying to hard to make something important to me happen but it feels like I'm the lone ranger in this when I clearly am aware it's a two people game.The feeling isnt great at all, but draining & makes me just want to scream, shout & cry.. urgh. a little frustrated that despite knowing me so well, someone can fail to actually deliver....ok nevermind. Just gonna let God decide on it from now on.

I've actually become more of a twitterholic rather than fbholic. i love to tweet because it feels like it's the only place i can voice out freely. where i can voice out without boundaries.feels great....

Now cervial cancer japs are really important, I am freaking out. Mum wants me to go get em & I asked panda bear..haha. He is funny.Dint help but yea sweet of him. Haha...i know it's pretty painful. The japs i mean... because I've seen people who got it not able to move their arm for a few days.scary nit ? gosh...scary!!

hermms.... guess thats all for now.gonna hit the sack soon =)

Love Ya'll
have a blessed day

Pam

2010-12-13T16:03:00.001+08:00

one of the weirdest experiences lately.
Yesterday, I attended LCC,Ipoh. After all the discussions with my darling CF-ians & some of the anointed elders I know.I'm totally pumped to look for some place where I'd not be taken for granted. Where my faith & love for Jesus wont be looked as something "less" compared to someone who has been a Christian longer then me. After all the incidents that has happened with me lately, with people I totally looked up too, it just crushed me. My spirit definitely took a vacation. I completely got absorbed with the world & allowed the flesh to take over. but I thank GOD for placing me in such a place where all "that" only lasted less then a week. I have great & mighty warriors of God from my home church in KL - Kingdom City & also my beautiful CF members. not forgetting my darling brother in Christ Daniel Thomas. Love You Dantom...u've been a blessing to my life.
& Also my Darling Daniel Tan who never failed to be amazing every time I'm in the worst of moods. Who never failed to show me the love of God from a different angle. From my blind spots he makes it visible to me. Thanks dear...u're also a blessing in my life.

Back to my experiences.
I've been totally searching God lately, I've been all lost but not away from God. Just it dint feel the usual me. Dint feel like there was a connect. So as I was all tangled in search mode, i departed to attend LCC yesterday with my brother. So yes, I've moved on. Leaving all behind, but keeping it in prayer. So as I was seated there, among the youths, souled out in worship, visions of my KC members came to sight. I sobbed till there was no tomorrow. I realized how much I've missed in the few months being there. I hardly managed to attend everything, but whatever I've attended it has changed my life. Brought a new vision to my mind, planted a new dream in my spirit. I sure have a great God.& knowing I have great family in Christ with me feels even better. How am I to explain this feelings, It's wordless. It's Love based!

So here I go again, all absorbed, comfortable in God's amazing Love. Seeing beautiful visions for a Youth based Church (LCC) I'm amazed with what God has in mind for em. Hey mates, do keep this 17week old church in prayer...young but it's by FAITH & that is what I'm totally touched about. Faith moves mountains, faith brings death to life...so FAITH will make it happen for em too =)

Moving on to further things, since 2010 is ending. indeed it was a beautiful year. Neglecting all the cloudy moments & embracing all the shiny bright days & loving em. making em the stars to the darkness, making em the light. Hoping for an exploding 2011....

Hey friends, know a secret?
Jesus is definitely ALIVE

Have a blessed day

Love,
Pam :)

2010-12-11T23:18:00.000+08:00

my brother definitely has a way better life then me.
it's 11.08pm now & he is out hanging around with his friends & he gets the car!! no permissions needed.
No point ranting it out here it's not like I'm going to get that much freedom ever. Not even when I'm in a relationship. Ok, when I have a bf i think my curfew starts at 10pm. If not my dad, then my mum would continuously call me or sms me. worse scenario my brother will irritate me by sending me msgs saying "Papa is angry come home NOW!!" - that has happened uncountable times & i get conned all the time. damn I'm so naive..i tend to get tricked by my family members all the time. Urgh!

Ok I'm just in an envious mood right now. How come I dont get such privilege being the eldest. i'm 3 years senior man. *kicks a can in frustration*

Fine, I get it, cuz I'm a girl & my parents had enough dealing with me & all the haywire I've caused em to go through while I was growing up. On a scale of being a devil...i score 10/10 compared to my brother who might be at 4-5/10. Yeah I know. I was really bad. I basically broke all rules & bla bla bla. Lol.. So guess face it now. haha.

actually I'm also very glad I've such strict parents =)
Atleast I'd know where to draw the line. Love em although they arent the best but they are sometimes the only ones I have in the toughest of moments it life. Thank You Jesus.

Guess am wraping it up here for today. Kinda sleepy & hope to make it for church tomorrow.

Love,
Pam

Have a blessed Sunday people...

2010-12-11T15:17:00.000+08:00

Kate Middleton Williams

Prince William definitely has taste.

She is definitely a sweetheart.

I like two things about her.

One - her beautiful smile

two - her beautiful bouncy hair

Kate Middleton - role model totally.

She is the prove that "fairytale" love does exist.

She stood up for him in everything.

After watching the E! news on this beautiful couple.

I had an insight of what they went through & how she got here by his side.

Amazing story.

The moral of their love story is : Kate just believed in her love. Guess thats what got her to where she is today.

Totally cheering up for this wonderful couple.

& this whole thing is definitely a reminiscence of Princess Diana.

I always wondered, how would it be if she was still alive.

& So the Prince manged to catch a bride whom is just as lovely as his mom was.

who knows serendipity might happen for me too.hahax
nothing is impossible people. Nothing is...

2010-12-10T14:49:00.002+08:00

a new hair cut would totally do me justice right now.

Just the fringe but hope to maintain the length.

Christmas is in two weeks. My room is in a mess, I'm nowhere close to writing the Christmas cards, not even written down my wishlist yet. what a mess have I been in ? herms. Deprivation of FREEDOM & ENTERTAINMENT!

baby Rayna will be leaving back for Canada this sunday. I'm already missing my sponge cake. I love her so much & everyone keeps saying she is the "little" version of ME =) even my nephews were saying it. amazing. haha. I have brilliant nephew & nieces....as an aunt I'm totally proud to have em =) I've another baby niece coming soon In January =) totally excited for her coming..... But sadly, she'll also just be here for a certain period of time, then she'll be gng with her mummy&daddy to New Zealand. Everyone is leaving.

Once again the feeling is returning. the feeling like i missed my flight...the feeling of disappointment & hurt. However, I'm just thankful to God for many reasons. I just want to continue to believe he has far greater prepared for me then expected. =)

As perplexed as my life has already been, I just DONT want to make it worst.... guess to just survive as it is makes it perfectly sensible...

Still working on my new blog. hermmmss... seems too much work suddenly. lolx.

Neways, I hope you have a blessed day.

God Bless

Love,

Pam

2010-12-06T15:00:00.001+08:00

Half way working on my new blog. Hope to launch it by the end of the year =)

There is still much to do with it.

Christmas is in 2 weeks. there is no Christmasy mood in my house. Just no fun no thrill. It seems like i'm the only excited one. so I'm planning to packup & go back to KL for an awesome time spent with my family in Christ.

I'm also hoping to watch The Social Network.

I'm glad I found a long lost friend from my previous church in KL. Haha. It feels great to know they actually remember me...

I'm bored at home.

Looking forward to get in touch with God again. & go to a whole new level with him. Time to start catching up with the bible reading & studying =)

Totally love doing that. I love to study the bible.

This coming weekend, if I'm not going to KL then I'll be going to check out City Life Church. Amazing. I heard they have a power pack youth team there & it's great. Blessed are those who have a group of young generation all souled out for Christ. All working for the extension of His Holy kingdom. Wow. I sure feel blessed to see such young people all soaked in the presence.

Guess thats it for now.

Love all,

God Bless =)

*Pam

2010-12-05T21:26:00.002+08:00

hello earthlings. been away for a few days. got excited about the end of exams. was all out & about having fun with my darling Paro =) she'z the most amazing....

then had a whole Saturday morning to pack up. was pretty upset. it was like some elimination or something. Well the semester was like an "amazing race" to me.. there were ups & downs, defeats & wins, all sorts of emotions... all sorts of random fun. crazy late night assignments. crazy late night stay ups just to complete Mr.Ali's tutorials. Food sessions. Deciding where to eat...& deciding what to do on our free days & free hours.

Sime Darby Trip was the ultimate fun...

I guess I enjoyed Miss Suh Zean's class the most. Although it was the class with the most short-notice stress...but it was filled with joy at the end. although her expectations on us were just so high but then some of us managed to pull it off... It was because of all that pressure we managed i guess. & her motherly features..they really outstand. I love her for that.

others were equivalent. I had alot of fun with my tutorial mates. totally love when Joseph speaks bahasa. it's so cute. He is Korean by the way but speaks great Malay. he managed to learn the language thanks to Braian & kath.

I love my babes to the max. not just from heart to heart but soul to soul we connect. I love You Sue Ling & Maybelle!!!!

Currently, i'm trying to figure out if i should like move to a new blog. I think i've overloaded here. it's a 3 years old site. lolx.

new beginnings. i guess i should =)

neways. m out from here.

Love,

Pam

god bless ya'll :)

2010-12-03T15:20:00.003+08:00

exams are OVER =)

semester1 goodstart goodbye :)

Christmas fun starts

NOW!

2010-11-30T13:00:00.003+08:00

I should be studying now. Tomorrow is IMGT paper. it's an OMG paper for me.

But then, I had to rant it out..cant bare the voice behind my head at the moment. my entire body system is at a strike I guess. my mind is blank, my eyes are tired, my body feels exhausted and i'm stoning..lol.

I dint sleep the whole night. I tossed & turned & tuned on to my ipod until it crashed on me due to the death of the battery!! :(

then i tried sleeping again, and so i slept for like about 1 hour or so? then I got up again. & tossed & turned & forced my self to sleep. in between all the tossing & turning & thinking...i've singed in to FB & tweeted more than 100times. :/

oh gosh. such painfully annoying. I felt like i was struck by insomnia...

In between all those, i decided to refill my water tumbler with water & then I got electrocuted thank You electric kettle. You can be convenient but u're also dangerous. pffts. Oh Jesus - What else??!! although it was minor but it was enough for me to feel the electricity in my tongue.

I really hope to be blessed with a Samsung Dual Screen camera for my 21st birthday. =) I love pictures. I really want to be an owner to a sexylicious camera that takes awesome shots. I know a DSLR would be even better....i dont mind owning a DSLR at all :D [ps : if the giver is generous enough I dont reject :P ]

I wish to also curl up in a comfy couch with someone I could hug so tight & dig into a pint of ice cream watching one of my favorite movies. Gosh So wish...

Sobs that now my Prince William is getting married. pffts. there goes all my possible chances :P lolx.

I miss encountering the love of God. I wish to attend some power pack service where people are falling apart being hit by the holy spirit....seeing people get touched & running back into the embrace of God totally brings tears to my eyes...it's such amazing love. :)

Guess thats all, maybe am gonna nap now...hahax. I need a recharge!!

I also need to shop :D

love,

Pam

2010-11-28T18:57:00.003+08:00

november at it's almost end

2 days to november ends :) the major highlight of november is : the beginning of the YEAR END SALE! (hallelujah)

I totally love the year ends....it's the best of times for me ... best bargains. hahax. Christmas is also coming less than a month. all plans have died ever since exams started....

2010 is ending & i'm yet to experience a mighty huge miracle like on personal base. I really want to. really hope to really wish to. *grins*

Accounts tomorrow. So randomly miss Mr.Ali weyh. lolx. Bumped into Spencer & Chris just now while walking back from uni. lolx. YEAH CASH FLOW people CASH FLOW. lolx...

Sue & I were bumming around at uni today, had our little makan session at OldTown. I kinda like the OldTown in uni. pretty nice place to chill ;) & the fun part was pranking MAY. sorry meow meow. mwax u know we love u....hehe.

besides that, guess nothing.. It's gonna be a short week i believe. I'm kinda sad that I've to pack my bags & go home for such a long period :( I definitely dont miss home this time.

December highlights

: Yogi is coming back....(big smiles) this time with her fiance ;)

I'm like crazy happy that Yugi is back. my darling bear is back...definitely wanna meet him... wana attend one of his stand ups after exams :D must attend actually.

Hope to have lotsa other fun stuff to do...

winx.

Love,

Pam

p/s-definitely regret.

2010-11-26T23:14:00.003+08:00

One fun thing about church gatherings is the awesome Fellowship that we have during makan(food) time :)

totally amazing times.

Attended Youthplus Alpha Festival which was amazing. God has a call for all of us, it's just our timings are different...but that doesnt mean we cant start now ;)

I had 2 good meals today(ok for the place that I live in right now I'm definitely amazingly blessed to have buffet for lunch & dinner) & unlimited amount of chocolates. Glucose level ? - exceptionally high. Not just because of the unlimited chocolate consumption but it's also because of the powerful hit of sweet sweet holy spirit during the quiet wait after the session...

on top of all those, I met also great warriors of God. I'm so touched to see that people from my generation all getting stirred up just to save their loved ones around em....

I'm pretty impressed with the project starfish idea. Its inspiring totally.

I'm happy to have spent some really good time fellowship with Ps.Vic over dinner & during the discussions at the festival today. I'm blessed. Hey You are blessed too =)

To be able to to be even reading this post I'm sure somewhere somehow u're blessed :)

have a blessed day.

& good night

2010-11-25T21:37:00.002+08:00

it was THE day that I totally almost chew the text book. ok literally.

I dont understand but I'm just going to act based on Proverbs3:5 that's gonna help hold me for a bit.

I really wish i could do photography for a living... i love pictures. they tell u a thousand different things from one picture.

Weak point here I dont even have a camera of my own. Ok thats a pity case for a photoholic like me...but who knows I might receive one for christmas ;) some angel blesses me with a pretty DSLR or a normal camera would do too.

I'm actually in the midst of deciding to get a piercing. I've this crazy urge to get a piercing above the hole i currently have. herms. Deep thoughts.

1 more week & it's Year End Break. I really dont want to go home this time. Sue & Meow are planing for Melaka & I'm aiming Jonker Street. it's up in my mind for all the cheap bargains i'm going to get from there.

Besides that, I'm all up for more exciting things in life. there is alot more to life then just here stagnant & just hoping. Questions have started flooding my life..family too have started now. I dont deny I wish to have someone I can call "heart" whom I can turn to at the end of the day.....who sees me when I'm at my worst, & understand the beauty behind my every flaw....It's just that I've not really gave much thought about it yet, I've not seen anyone compatible yet. I'm just waiting....& in to some extent also "hoping".

Neways, christmas is in a month, & amrit is coming in a month too :) awesome timing. Cant wait to see my potato after ages long. hahahax.

Love,

Pam

2010-11-24T22:50:00.003+08:00

addiction is the right word!

The title says it all. Totally addicted but this addiction is a good addiction okay. Currently hooked on to this wonderful spiritual amazing worship song by Misty Edwards called Resting Place.

Actually it was sung last Sunday at Church & i was weeping & sobbing under the anointing felt like heaven was on earth. Loved the moment.

Sung with Tabby yesterday for CF & now am also hooked to Desert Song by Hillsong. I'm just happy that CF is growing & people in CF are becoming more & more godlike. People who came in different are walking out spirit filled. I feel blessed to be among people who see God in every area of their lives. Isnt it a blessing to have such wonderful people.....

Cant wait for all the amazing events that are going to be taking place in my life.....

Cant wait for Christmas...& definitely cant wait to turn 21....hahax.

Make Psalm37:4

"Delight Yourself in the Lord & He'll give you the desire of your heart"

Your stepping stone to receiving the desire God has place in your heart :)

Every good desire you have in your heart, is from God & dont let it go even if it seems so impossible right now....God will make it possible for you. Just believe [Mark9:23]

Guess my final wish is God Bless for all those who are going to be in MPH Hall with me tomorrow. Sitting for various finals paper..... & for my wonderful classmates..all the best for Microecons.

Believe that God will see us through this....

Love,

Pam.

p/s : I so want a bottle of "pretty" by elizabeth arden for Christmas :)

2010-11-23T21:35:00.002+08:00

I'm not stressed. I'm not unwell, I'm not even sad. I'm just feeling lost.

I dont know what I want anymore. Today backup worshiped for CF & it was awesome. it was done by the lake. felt really awesome.

Always, I mistaken my self to have a say in the group that i come from. Frequent enough my suggestions are being taken for granted. After having a great conversation with my darling CF-ians they strongly suggest I should make a move to somewhere comfortable.

I'm just thinking now. I'm just lost at the moment. So much is going on in my mind. I'm no control of it right now.

I'm a lil tired. I feel liked crying although i dont have a reason to it.

I feel like vomiting also dont have reason to it.

I just want to be hugged, cared & pampered. sigh. high hopes.

lets just go sleep.

Love,

Pam

2010-11-22T16:34:00.002+08:00

For God did not create half man or even half women so why feel insecure ?

In the bible has been stated,

"Genesis 1:27 : So God created man in his own image"

I dont deny, as a normal girl, I sometimes do feel insecure totally. I do feel less pretty, less beautiful in some situations that I sometimes in....but this verse, totally keeps me going.

Look at them and look at us. We are made in the image of Jesus & we know that. We are made by His own hands, we know Him, we are with Him everywhere we go. He in us and we in Him. Hence, our beauty is like His beauty: Everlasting!!

That is the difference between the worldly & the Godly.

Do not be discouraged, for outer beauty is just to please the eyes of the world but the inner beauty is what God sees..... The external beauty fades, but internal beauty lasts forever.

2010-11-19T10:21:00.002+08:00

Extended Break

I Believe there is a reason to it. Well God is a wonder working God, He has all answers to my questions although they are pretty dumb sometimes. lolx. I dont know how He deals with me but well He never gives up on me :)

I was suppose to go back like on Monday then extended it till wednesday because aunt was coming then, extended it till today coz dad wanted to send me back. As usual dad changed his mind so yeah. extended break for me!

Everytime I freak out, two people are always there for me : Mum & God. It's an amazing journey. Yesterday, while i was talking about seeds of the torrents, God just spoke to me about planting a Seed and how patiently we grow em & water em & take care of em....

Owh if You want me to write it down here it'll turn into a script of 1/2hr sermon :) lol. lets save it. Someday I'll preach it to nations. I really want to be able to share all these beautiful revelations with my brothers & sisters in Christ.

God speaks to everyone in marvelous ways. It's just how we are going to see it.

Beauty of a person inside would reflect the beauty of a person outside. that is what I believe.

Have a blessed day.

God Bless You.

Love,

Pam :)

2010-11-16T12:46:00.002+08:00

recent encounter

I'm glad that HE has full authority over me & my life

I'm aware HE is alive & is definitely working in my life.

Although sometimes I could feel like I belong nowhere but HE assures me I belong somewhere...

I belong to HIM. He has never allow me to go astray for too long, sometimes I could feel like it's too late now that I've completely gone too far, but HE still tells me, it's never too late. I'm waiting...always have been, always will. That is how wonderful HE is. My beautiful Abba Father, Jesus. :)

P/s : Looking forward to a great year end

- My Christmas tree is UP :)

2010-11-15T13:06:00.002+08:00

for a moment i thought it's ok to dream. for a moment i thought it's ok to continue dreaming about something I really want to let go off, again & again I managed to let it go and when I'm almost forgetting it...something just reminds me of it again. I dont know if it's a sign but whatever it is, i wish it would stay & be real but when it's so impossible i should stop dreaming & let every passing by memory of it to just pass by without taking a pit stop in my life.

I need to learn how to let it go.

2010-11-12T02:52:00.003+08:00

it's hard. Definitely it is hard. 3 years still same thing, same shit different day. it's hard. I admit it now, it's damn hard. I just dont know what to do anymore. I want to snap out of it, but I keep falling back. How long more? How long am I going to hold on to it?

Frustration is speaking here.

I want to get over with you. & it was one bloody hell sided!!

2010-11-08T18:01:00.002+08:00

neglect completely the existence of my previous post that now has disappeared. I decided to remove it. Not worth to blog about that person. :)

Moving on, i rushed back for a 20minutes class. *scream* if i knew I wudnt have traveled back in such a rush.....but then it was worth it after all :) I loved today's short lecture. Productive definitely.

I've recovered now, just mild sore throat left. and I'm really tired...i might nap after this. Might be meeting up with my KCian/s. really miss all of em. they are really totally absolutely amazing people of God..

I'm also gladly involved with Infuse Prayer & Fasting week. If you're reading this and you're convicted to join us in fasting & prayer do join us.

the prayer for this time is simple

Great breakthrough in seeing more souls get saved .

I'm looking forward to more fun & exciting activities in Infuse & if there are any I'll sure update here & everyone is welcome to join us embrace the love of God...

Guess for now thats it. really tired. :)

God Bless poeple.

have a blessed week :)

2010-11-06T14:59:00.002+08:00

current guilty factor. A sin to my throat & body but cant stop munching on it.

Like my current staple food.

I only get em during diwali season, ok maybe christmas too if I'm not too lazy to make em... Diwali hasnt kicked in for me. I did not attend ANY open house. Ok I've family reunions that I'm avoiding big time.

Besides that, i dont really have friends who celebrate diwali in Malaysia so yea maybe that's why I dont have invitations anywhere.

Use to go to renu's place for diwali & menu & Loges. I've not kept in touch with any, hence I've no clue whats happening. Oh nevermind, looking forward for a better year now..better friendships & better events and functions :) Christmas is coming soon superbly excited. hahax.

ok la gotta prepare for family reunion at my aunt's place. I know I shouldnt keep grudges...ahhh. i musnt. I know I mustnt :)

guess thats all for now

Love,
pam

2010-11-05T00:50:00.003+08:00

not feeling okay. p/s AT ALL!

I so need to rest I know,

I know water is a MUST now...but i just dont know why i cant seem to be drinking enough water.

It's diwali & i'm home, doing assignments despite being sick and like going to die anytime I am still working but not progressing because my brain has put a "no exit no entry" sign ... I cant absorb anything neither can I discharge anything. this is the condition of my brain currently.

Oh I know why, it's because of the war between the virus & my antibodies.

The virus are shooting missiles to live & the antibodies are throwing nuclear to bring me recovery. owh what a war deep down within.. poor antibodies..yey antibodies. but i got a strong feeling by the weekend, the viruses are going to raise their white flag( in surrender) hahaha!

owh I just illustrated a whole crap! the after effect of commenting on jaskiret's wall totally inspires me to crap. owh btw, he is the crap GURU!!!

reallyy tired. owh sigh.

guess it's a goodnight now.

Love,

Pam

happy diwali to all my friends who are celebrating it..

2010-11-02T23:43:00.002+08:00

I am just an ordinary girl, who loves Jesus.

Today after almost 3 weeks, I attended CF (Taylor's Lakeside Christian Fellowship)

The beautiful encounter with God today made me tear. I dint weep or sob but a tear dropped...

a single tear when i heard his so soft voice speaking into my spirit....

His words were loud and clear though. He cleared my doubt, definitely telling me I shouldnt doubt!

When Tabby shared her testimony, all I wished was to have that simple faith her late aunt had. So simple yet so divine.

Leon's message totally answered my questions :)

See Jesus is totally a wonder working God....totally he is.

It's because of him also that today Rebecca Joy Fernandez is out of coma & is home.

Isnt he amazing ??

THANK YOU my darling prayer team!!!!

Love My cf members & my KC members ALOT!

Love

Pam

2010-11-01T17:35:00.003+08:00

I was tumblr-ing till i stumbled on this

Totally agree to that. thumbs up!!

So moving on, just finished Econs Assessment test. I have no comments about it. am also done with QM final assessment test. Next coming is QM assignment due & management assessment test!! scary...why is time such a scarce? pffts! I always face a shortage of time. lol.

4 beautiful months has passed, a month to end of term. sobs. I definitely cant wait to go back & grab the remote to the tv and get myself updated watching my favorite shows all day & night. haha. I also wish to go for a trip out somewhere, really hope to visit singapore & bug arwy mad. missed him, and managed to speak to him after ages long! totally miss arwy. hahax.

pretty hungry at the moment, today was rather quiet at uni, hmmmm ...

there ws this asian food carnival happening here on campus & tomorrow i am going to splurge on all the yummy indonesian & korean food :) lolx. so greedy huh? Mouthwatering! besides that, nothing much.

guess thats all....

god bless.. have a great week

Love, Pam

2010-10-27T20:40:00.003+08:00

Finally submitted the management report! I'm so happy.

four months is finally coming to an end...not quite happy but reasonable :)

Successfully skipped Accounts today. took that time to sleep in... Just cudnt tolerate the tiredness!

I'm really kinda starting to dislike my landlord! I mean how long more am I gng to struggle washing the clothes & maintaining the cleanliness of the house? Seriously I dont mind paying the extra 200 bucks to just get my self a clean environment on campus!!!

besides that, even internet isnt fully subsidized by him....horrible!

I'm just tired right now, I've a presentation tomorrow & with this bloated tummy I've no idea if I'd manage to fit into something nice & decent! Diwali is in a week and I'm here. totally lost. No clue of how Ipoh is this year. Really miss it now. I really want to get my hand filled with henna! ok henna makes me miss Greenpark,Delhi so so much!

Exams are soon. less then a month now. I've not revised ANYTHING. totally freaking out inside. Herms. accompanied weena for dinner with some people other people too. Apparently a reminder to them if they happen to be reading this, dont think I dont understand chinese? like HELLO...wanna kutuk people also watch it lah. lol. damn annoyed I just walked off...insecure ppl =/

YES. got the call :)

So people whoever who wants me to usher em around campus..come to our open day this SATURDAY. read this again SA-TUR-DAY! :D

lolx.

Now I better be getting prepared for my other assignments :)

Love Ya'll

Pam

2010-10-26T09:56:00.002+08:00

it's a tuesday morning where

i had nothing to wear despite having a huge collection,
my hair is so dry
my face looks pale & sickly & dry
my mind is constantly drifting away
BB7 not able to log in
people in the library comp lab are so quiet
hungry
feeling FAT!

so basically thats how I am feeling on this miserable tuesday morning.

But the again I'm gng to be speaking blessing into my day :) As the chosen child of GOD all this are just small issues that are least important to worry about..haha !! Currently I'm quite busy working on a report that is due tomorrow! Yes, it's not last minute..we all have been having such a busy semester, totally no time sometimes. I love it though. I love the fact that life is awesome when God is in control of it. It's even greater when he opens your eyes to see the truth that makes u realize that I cant be accountable to everyone and it's best to get a church elder to be accountable to :)

this friday will be African Night at Kingdom City KL and Saturday will be an open day at uni. Looks like I'm taking the offer to be an usher for that day. I love my uni, so I'd also want people to view it in my point of view where it's all positive although the work load is really intense, but hey that is part of studying..enjoy it because to work would be even worse.

cant wait to go try 'chic-licious' with Sue later :) [its a new restaurant opened at our campus commercial block] lets hope it's yummy & not like the silly B Station [korean shop].

Cheers readers.

May you have a great day & a great week.

Love,

Pam

2010-10-24T00:29:00.002+08:00

Loving my moments spent with my parents. Although they are rather short but they are meaningful to me, although they arent always happy moments but they are supportive moments filled with indirect Love poured out from heaven by Jesus.

So here I'm struggling with accounts assignment 2!

It definitely isnt easy but it keeps me going :D

Handsome boy leaving for panda land again.

although his trips are short but it isnt short enough for me to not miss him.

Cant wait for aloo to come back too :D

"Aloo, faster come back.I so want to go roaming around in mummy's audi!"

Things can change, people can change but GOD is the same forever!

I'm so glad that I'm now in this walk with Jesus. I'm so proud of Christ.

I'm happy beyond measure.

Love You lord

2010-10-18T19:12:00.002+08:00

Here comes my never ending rant on assignments, weather & the college gate! Christina says, by complaining it doesnt solve my problems. Actually she is so right but by not complaining I feel jammed haha.

So let me start with the weather. It has been soo hot here. I feel roasted by the sun. I am like 4 times darker then a few weeks ago. Ever since the gate closed down,I've been walking the extra mile and by the time I reach uni I become all sweaty & yucky. owh gosh...so dressing up has been scratched out from my list for the time being. :)

next is assignments.Ok this is a never ending rant. I'm clueless when i enter the class for econs & accounting...I need a personal tutor!!! Any personal tutors available for me ??? It's a non-paid job though. Lolx.

Lastly but never the elast is the gate. :( such dissappoinment!! I hope they open the gate soon cuz I cant take it anymore. :(

besides that Life is GOOD!

By the grace of God I'm awesome :D

2010-10-16T21:35:00.000+08:00

There are somethings I cannot let go off, and they are the things that are closely connected to my heart. especially people from the past.

people like Amrit my potato. I miss him very much. But we've gone too far into our own ways that we cant go back to where we left it. My closest buddy ever. through thick & thin i'll say :)

Another one is my Nair boy. I really really really tremendously miss my childhood best friend. I miss You Dinesh Nair. So so much. I wish we were still in school, spending time texting all day & night. until 4-5am. I miss You so much.

Nothing can replace these places of two wonderful people in my life. My life is really empty right now....I only have parents & God. People whom I've trusted turned out to be a disappointment...

I sometimes really wonder to my self, what on earth am I doing here? I mean I have no clue whats up with this emptiness that has been there like forever now. Never have I managed to have bestest of girl friends, neither have I managed to keep the bond between schoolmates steady. I've faced discrimination my whole life. In school & now here. The only best times were ICPU days. I had people I could rely on, People whom I could consult & pour out my heart to...but they left too. Now..I look at my self, i Just see the same me....the me with no1 to just cling to for a moment when I'm breathless or when I'm happy I just scream in excitement to that person.

I just dont know why,out of gazillion people on planet earth, I still cant find the right person whom I can call...FRIEND!

besides Jesus.

Love,

Pam

2010-10-13T20:31:00.003+08:00

Here I am to pour out the times when I'm not so strong as I always am.

to actually like someone would be my greatest fear at this point of life. I've been far too deeply hurt! If it's all true & if he can be MAN enough to tolerate my childishness, & random wants that are usually as weird as I am..then bring the challenge ON. I'm prepared to face all consequences.

I am not interested in kid games of hookups & breakups. So with me expect a steady thing that has a meaning! not some item u can purchase from Petaling Street! (so Plastic)

Enough la. Life for real. I dont want history to repeat itself! it's bothering me far too deep. I need to voice out soon!

Sigh!

this is all soo bothering!

sigh!

Where are all my friends when i need em??? sigh.

2010-10-11T13:39:00.002+08:00

Conquer!
Conquer!
Conquer!
I need to Conquer my life before it goes too far allowing history to repeat itself. Scared. Seriously. I just had too much already to have more of the same thing.
It's always the same story. I'm bored of it. I want to experience something different. something surprising, something special & odd.....& UNIQUE!

winx.

2010-10-10T22:53:00.002+08:00

101010.

it would have been damn awesome if someone took the initiative to propose to me on 10.10.10 at 10.10 am/pm Wah so sweet wan :)

but then again i guess i can wait for 12/2/11 :) and people can propose to me at 12.11am/pm :) hahax. awesome. Yeah coz thts when I turn 21 u know :p lolx.

Currently addicted to Anjaana Anjaani's songs like SO cuhrazily addicted. Especially "Tujhe Bhula Diya" I guess maybe the most tiniest MAYBE because it just brings back the memories of the times when Dhiraj was around & how things were between us.. really need to delete him from my memory ram for GOOD! Cant keep dwelling for something that NEVER happened & might NEVER happen. :)

Really disappointed with Taylor's & BSRA. I mean come on dont be ridiculous. there are so many students who are also Bandar Sunway Residents. so consider us la. We WALK to college & now because of them we have to take the darn bus. :( which takes us the whole of subang then drops us off home. So will be home later thn usual now & tht really suck when i can actually reach home withing the walk of 10 minutes. GAH annoyance!

I am freaking out big time. alot of things are happening at one go & this feeling brings shivers up to my spine. I feel like crying. I feel like screaming. I want to be hugged. I want to be held tight in warm arms. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...this dream that is at such a distant... JESUS!!!!

guess gotta work on some assignments now. Good night world.

Happy 101010

love,

Pam

2010-10-03T14:30:00.002+08:00

Updates.

Right now am at 24/7

well I am left with no much choice. I spent the whole day out yesterday. I just needed a breather had no choice but to SHOP SHOP SHOP!! basically I did not buy anything but just a new handbag Like always. And SHOES which I stopped my self from buying & now regretting as always.

accounts test coming up, english assignment due. So much of work.

I cant wait for the holidays :) I want to be free as a bird flying in the air to my favorite destinations. owh Wonder when I'm gng to meet my perfect prince, that handsome pilot who flies me around in my beautiful dreams.

Hermm.

Loving "Latikha's team" by A.R Rahman from the movie Slumdog Millionaire :)

so yeah back to accounts mode.

Love world

Love Pam

2010-10-02T09:37:00.002+08:00

"Call Onto Me and I'll give you the desires of Your Heart"

"Delight in the Lord Your God & He shall grant You the desires of Your Heart "

Wow! Amazing I say.

Do You remember those verses? felt Like You've read them somewhere? Well, I bet U have either heard or you would have read it. Well, Until u dont actually see the picture behind those words U'll only say things like "Owh Yeah, I know those are in the bible but it's just words."

Owh My dear friends, Dont you make the silly mistakes I made once long ago. Yes once Long ago when I first became a Christian, these words were being shared to me. It was picked out for me from the bible & was being explained to me one on one. BUT I wasnt paying much attention to it. I just let whatever that was being said to me enter the right year and come out the left. Owh So silly I was.

However, I dont regret it because, I believe for me, to learn the hard way was just "it". haha.

So Yes. A testimony of a lifetime. A love for God. These are the power that will lead you to understand the scriptures better. Everyone will have a different description towards the same verse and that is because God speaks to different people in different ways. :) God speaks to people trying to relate the scripture they are reading to the situations they could be in. Hey even happy people have their own hidden worries okay.

So my challenge to you,

pick up your bibles, take a moment and just open and read something. For beginners maybe you can start of by reading your Psalms :) I started off that way.

Just know God loves us all the same. He is a very fair God =) and He can do beyond your expectations friends.

Just try.

Love,

Pam

2010-10-01T16:16:00.002+08:00

I just want to be the person I see in my dreams......

2010-09-28T14:53:00.002+08:00

short update.
back in KL. really hate the pressure.. yes. Like I know the timing to complete the assignments and all -.-" ah just dont know why some people never get it.avoid! [bigtime]
Kinda waiting for friday, cant wait to go chillax at Kingdom City and watch some bait of satan and go eat eat with all of em. (family in christ). I miss Infusers too..cant wait for the next concert hoping it to be somewher unexpected (pray for it peoples)
I am right now at the library starving u can say.had drinks with Daniel at wong kok and we waited for almost 1/2 hour just for drinks. imagine if we ordered food. it'll never come I think. Lolx.
having a headache-massive. a few more hours to CF meeting. Yippy!
just 1 day of not being in college, renovations has started, great wonder what are they building now....
Guess thats all for now.
Love all!
Over all Love Jesus for always doing far more abundantly for me.

p/s still reading i kiss dating goodbye. seriously a good book =)

*pam*

2010-09-26T11:24:00.002+08:00

I dont know why but for me, the reds & the turquoise and the browns are my favorites :)
it's like the new black for me ;)
I like the fact that sometimes when i'm down He is there for me...
and Doesn't matter what I do or where I go he is with me, protecting me. That is LOVE. From my Father...Jesus.
I am really blessed to be chosen, and seriously don't want to put this opportunity to waste. Mind is working, heart is in love and soul is just so absorbed.
My current time where I just want to isolate is to just search & go to a higher ground with Him...
I'm not being a loner because I'm EMO..but I'm being a loner just absorbing into his presence.
Owhh Jesus. Love You so so much.

Moving forward to my recent dissatisfaction.....
I went to get my hair done but then I was disappointed with the lady's work. So yeah, I want to go & get it done all over again. So yes, it's a season of renewing. I'm going to get a whole new look for a whole new me, as I walk into a different dimension into different views of life, concentrating on certain facts and focusing on a few really obvious points of life so YES i want to live the dream. and I want to live it like it has already happen...Positive christian thinking eyyh peoples.

Guess thats all I have to say.

Love,

Pam

2010-09-23T21:40:00.004+08:00

Everything got it covered just QM now. QM honestly is a struggle but then, nothing is impossible :)

I'm seriously tired. Had dinner with Yin Yee today; dint know that opposite where i live there are stalls. The food is reasonable and not bad.... eatable. lolx.

I've been busy, this week was a relax week. Not much pressure but the pressure was there. Just not much. Spent almost the whole day in school today. was in school from 8.45am till 6.30pm. gosh getting out of campus made me feel so great. Actually I dont mind staying on campus but only if it was cheaper & the rooms were bigger. it's so small I tell u, for me it wudnt fit at all. I've so many things. the view at night at campus is just magnificent.

Karameet is leaving for the UK. I'm a lil sad coz we never got a chance to meet again. Well, now it's like a season of reminiscence for me. recalling back the first time i met karameet. it was a huge embarrassment but it all turned out well. Not bad ha, we all grew up. Now we are all leading out own lives...own destinations. Life is really a complicated journey. but it's beautiful..along the way I've learnt alot.

Guess I'm gng now,

back to Assignment mode. lol.

2010-09-22T21:13:00.007+08:00

I'm like a cheerleader inside. So so happy cheering for the Love that God has been pouring out upon me. So blessed. Seriously. Come and feel what I'm feeling lah, it's amazing......God has planted a seed of "Joseph" in spirit, but then he named me "Esther".

Revelation ? - Joseph is a dreamer. In the bible we know that Joseph was really a great dreamer. while Esther? She was a prayer warrior. She believed God could do much bigger than she even can imagine. But she sealed all her request with a prayer out of Love she had for our Heavenly Father. (so amazing). So As Esther with a mixture of Joseph in my spirit, I'm going to dream the right dream. and I'm going to dream out of the fear of the Lord. Because the fear of the Lord is LOVE. Owh so Amazing.

Opening the bible, reading two lines from the bible, is enough to prove that the Bible is LOVE. just overflowing blessing of LOVE. no rules just guidance for us to sow & reap from our Lord.

He is always giving. Right now as we are actually doing nothing, he is still giving although we dont have anything in want. He is giving his protection. He is protecting us. NEVER feel like God doesnt hear to you. No doubts as a Human I've many times doubted God, I've given in to my flesh & was reluctant to hear to the voice of the spirit. BUT BUT BUT, God looks deep within your heart, he knows the best, Sure we will trip along the road when we tend to hear the voice of the flesh, but somewhere in the journey God comes and stands infront of you reminding you HE is still GOD, father of the universe, my father, our father who can do the impossible..that is the testing point, either we follow God or just continue walking.

Dear readers, Even though it seems so impossible, and we believe GOD cant do anything? Just BELIEVE. "For all things are possible for them who believe......" Just go to your room, and spend a few moments calling onto God, and tell him how much you desire his interference in your current situation, How much u desire that things are not as complicated as it seem. Just rest in his presence & I tell u readers breakthrough is on the way. Hallelujah.

I've alot to share, but right now I just let you ponder on the thoughts I've shared.

I've gone through situations that not many 20year old girl would have ever gone through. Maybe it's God's way of molding me. && Honestly? I'm so glad he puts me through such struggles, because everytime I'm out of it i realize that my faith level has increased. From level to level, from time to time. It's a never ending ladder. but when it ends, and u've been walking on the right ladder, just know Heaven is waiting for u at the end.

Take care.

God Bless...

Love,

Pam

2010-09-20T20:10:00.002+08:00

situations.

I've thons of small small situations to handle right now. Life my messed up life, group assignments, and alot of homework. Suck totally...but then this is the way to live i believe.it keeps me busy & away from unnecessary thoughts.

tired seriously, I reached KL like early morning & seriously thank you to darling Yvonne Melissa.

I'm glad that I went back, I enjoyed the concert...it was great meeting Ps. Suba after ages long and also catching up with Ps.Bernard after a few weeks.

I really love to attend Church events. It keeps me going and motivated & happy.

So now I'm totally busy & contented with life. hahax.

I love my parents, my brother, my church members & all my friends.

I also miss Mr.Obsession weyhh, watching Ranbir in Anjaana Anjaani makes me want to cry for no good reason. Lol. Ok maybe to WISH that only we could have be friends. hahahahaha. wish wish wish.

Guess thts all for now, I so want to be in India.

Lorrrddd, i want to be in INDIA. :D

lolx.

2010-09-19T11:29:00.002+08:00

Recent Update.

Infuse Arise Album Tour - 2
Lifeline Church, Sitiawan.

was

GREAT!

it was a greatly blessed, highly favored night.
people were blessed, the anointing was just flowing like waterfall.
The blessing was just pouring out.

It was a great great great night.
the crowd was quite good.

the team did a great job.

Good Work to all of us.

God Bless all. :)

p/s - Happy Birthday handsome boy. :)

2010-09-15T21:51:00.004+08:00

Lantern Festival. YEY.

my favourite festival ever since young.

it's all decorated with colorful lanterns.

So pretty. Makes me happy.

Then today I saw a rainbow.

it made me smile. I Love Rainbows.

it makes me smile.

2010-09-14T20:25:00.002+08:00

Thank goodness I've submitted my econs assignment. Now I'm not so tense as before. but then again, now I've to worry about my accounting assignment...

ate maggi for dinner ~~again~~. seriously maggi can go rich because of me. lolx.

i've been doing great, and friday I've a test coming up.

life is crazy hectic but i'm surviving by the grace of god.

I need to get alot of stuff am running low majorly on clothing. :)

thank god for christmas :)

I can start making a LIST. hahax.

I just want to sum up with one thing : God is so merciful.

Love,

Pam

2010-09-12T22:46:00.002+08:00

Here I am, rejuvenated. RENEWED.

Actually it's by grace I've been taken again to that place I miss most - In my Father's arms.

God has been amazingly merciful to me....& I'm so blessed. so glad god is still with me, be it anything, he'll still provide because I'm his baby and he is my father. I'm his princess & he is my father.... The King of heaven and earth. Hallelujah. Jesus is my hero :)

2010-09-11T00:56:00.002+08:00

i just wish to experience a BEAUTIFUL moment.

2010-09-09T12:52:00.004+08:00

i have a feeling. and this feeling isnt the best.

I have a feeling and it tells me a story which i'm reluctant to believe.

Can life be that limited?

I want that ring,

I want my guitar guy

and then i can say it's the end.

I want my qualifications

I want my dream holiday,

then i can call it the end.

i'm nowhere close to end.

But I've found an understanding.

A place where i can get absorbed and feel so special.

It's my dwelling place....

it's the place where I feel so Alive.

it's in the arms of My Lovely Jesus.

Love of the world can be limited,

I might have no experience,

but in HIS Love I live.

Sometimes, I fall, get hurt and get upset that he hasnt come to rescue

but then little did i realize, he just wanted me to be independent....

he was teaching me to see the world as it is - cruel&selfish.

He was teaching me to TRUST in him doubtless.

I fail,

Many times I've failed...

to just do that one thing HE desires out of me....

I hope to make things right.

To be there for him again just like how he has always been.

Because, HE is the love of my life.

&& the relationship we have is unbreakable......

it's for eternity

because HIS PROMISES are not Lies.

because his word Lives.

because he is Lord God.

my father, my bestfriend.

Jesus Christ.

2010-09-07T14:58:00.002+08:00

working on this crazily difficult econs assignment which seem so easy. When I touch the paper and try to attempt it, I go B.L.A.N.K. Congratulations Pam =) what a drastic achievement. haha (self insult)

Getting on to assignments, I've truck loads of em. Every subject has one. and quizes are every now and then. *sweat* but then it gets me going. Atleast my mind is focused on something else. My heart is still in a deep burning pain of anger plus disappointment. I dint expect guitar guy to be like how he has turned out to be. I should have taken my mentor's advice at the first place atleast I wudnt end up feeling like crap. But then God puts me through situations to strengthen me (i hope).

Sigh.

guess I better get back to my econs. -.-""

I wish mr.moaz was around.

2010-09-06T23:38:00.002+08:00

i just wish, that one day my prince will come & take me away.

i had enough of all this.thankyou.bye.

2010-09-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

i just want you home.

Because I recently realize,

You're the missing piece

HAHA guitar guy. I'm moving on..

U're so going to regret doing this to me

2010-09-01T20:05:00.002+08:00

the guitar guy's girl....

Standing there, staring at an empty stage,

Everything was complete, except that guitar.....

Everything seems perfect except that guitar....

No crowd,

No people,

Just she and that guitar....

At that guitar she looks,

and she cries

and she screams but then...

she falls.....

Weeping

hoping

wanting....

to just see him once again....

to see him prick that guitar gently,

Her soul is longing to hear him sing again, sing her favorite song again...

She stands, brave and bold

trying to take control but inside she is so torn.

She looks again at that guitar,

black and shiny...

the beams of sunlight falls on that guitar

and she is being hit by the beams of reflection from the guitar

it cuts her deeper.

One last glance of that beautiful guitar and she runs away,

tears in her eyes, wound in her heart, a bleeding soul.

Bon voyage Guitar guy,

I know that u like her...but

I hope you'll return.

I'll wait at this empty stage everyday....

hoping you'd come and pick up the guitar & sing that song to me again.

I love You.

2010-08-30T23:29:00.002+08:00

it's my holidays next week but seems like I wont be getting any,

it's MERDEKA tomorrow. yes the 53rd one...but wont be celebrating it.

What am I up to ? a never ending list of blood sucking assignments. owh yes worst then mosquitoes....i've truck loads of assignments. haiz.

neways, GUESS WHAT? I was walking in Carrefour just now, with Sin Yee getting stuff...i bumped into Juggy D -___-"" lets not say more. hahaha. let my finish laughing. HAHAHAHAHAHA. ok done.

Next,

tomorrow even the library is going to be close. That suck. My system is going haywire with all the replacement classes. thank god there isnt replacement classes on saturdays or I'd freak. I'd go huha. lolx.

Guess thats all for today. I had a great day by the grace of GOD. Glory to him forevermore xD

tada.

2010-08-29T21:08:00.002+08:00

I've experienced alot of heartbreaks.various kind of pain from different people. it not always has to be because of a guy.my heartbreaks varied.sometimes it's just one of my loved ones. weirdly, how i've handled my recent heartbreak.then God spoke me...and guess what he said ? "FEAR" because I feared that it would happen so it actually happened, i dint allow God to do his work,i chose to believe in my own strength.Then now I ask, is it wrong to stop fearing and hope things becomes normal? answer : ofcourse not. Nothing is too late, we go through situations as a part of learning. It's a part to build our faith. With God, all things becomes possible. Sometimes we feel like we fall short and feel like we wont be blessed, but then think again, pick up your Bibles and look through it again, you'll find the answer, God's love is always pouring out on us like a waterfall-never ending.I love God.Right now, I feel so rejected,but GOD tells me, he will never leave me not forsake me, because he made me in his own image. God promised this in the bible. Dont look at the bible like it's just a book of rules. it's NOT. it's a book of love, mercy and PROMISE. The words are LIVING. read it as if you're hungry You'll sure realize the words become alive and they will eventually speak to you. Spend some time with the holy one, and know he is FULL of compassion. He'll never let you or your household go EMPTY.

Amen.

God Bless You readers.

Love,

Pam

2010-08-28T22:18:00.005+08:00

leaving home again, going back to KL. this is the sad part. I really sometimes dont like leaving home. although home could be pressuring sometimes, but home is HOME. nothing can replace the love & comfort I get from my biological family & my spiritual family [infusers]. Life is surely a journey but this journey is weird. Bumping into guitar guy was definitely not planned, it was God's plan. Sigh, but I just had no reaction to it. There was just numbness...God knows the best so I dont wish to talk about all that has happened. It was just a nightmare....Yup it was. [i hope].

Peace....Out. :)

2010-08-28T11:20:00.002+08:00

i am so so hungry. I've so much running in my mind, and all this is so stressing... I've committed into tooo many things that now I'm tangled. I've no clue how to get my self out of it haha. I've this management assignment due in two weeks, which is crazy alot of work. I wont be even having a break although next next week is my study break I am not getting one....sigh.

this is all SO stressing.....like seriously once I'm dont with this sem, i'm going to take a looooonnnnggg break and fly away to INDIA i hope. haha.

guess now I've to just continue with my assignment... toodles buddiez

2010-08-26T12:14:00.002+08:00

it's difficult but I'll endure it. God place me in this situation for a reason. I will face it, I'll fight it because I know the END will be sweet.it's painful, makes me want to scream but I wont give up, I've to face it. I will face it and I'll run after my dream no matter what because i trust in GOD. When he is FOR ME who can me AGAINST ME.

2010-08-23T19:00:00.003+08:00

walking to uni,

you in mind,

thinking of the weekend

it all went so fast,

& now I miss you more then before

walking to uni,

hoping for you to call me,

& happen to bump into a look alike of yours.

Not much of SAME at all, but somewhat

It felt I saw you in the midst of the crowd

and my heart almost dropped to the ground..

I almost lost my breath.

Ridiculously then I laughed at myself...

how could i even get so dreamy ?

haha. Maybe I really miss you this time. Really really do...

2010-08-22T23:39:00.003+08:00

ARISE CONCERT TOUR #1-Taiping

was just amazing.

The Band did their best, the team did their best. Infuse rocked Taiping.

Next will be in September :) where & when will be posted.

Do Come and receive your blessing..

come and get drunk in the holy anointing. it's amazing to be in God's presence.

I enjoyed my trip back home this time. I was being well fed by everyone... haha

I feel I've grown back whatever lost *grins*

2010-08-20T00:43:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I make mistakes that makes me feel like a total sinner. like a big time sinner la. But eventually at the end of the day I feel empty and I wonder WHY is there no such feeling in me ? Is it a sign God forgave me, or is it a sign God put me through it to test me ? Okay if he did, I can say I dint pass the test :( I feel like I dint. but then again I'm not judge. neither can I be the judge to my self. it's only God who can say the final answer.

Tonight is Arise Big Big Concert in Taiping. totally excited. with Fever and eye bags I'm going to jump jump. and scream "take take take it all" I'm excited to experience the wonderful touch of God...

Owh See Ya'll there at FGA Taiping.

2010-08-18T14:04:00.002+08:00

Preparing my heart.
I know it's going to be a power pack night. I know annointing is going to make us drunk. I know I'm going to get knocked down..
2 weeks of real struggle, FRIDAY is going to knock all the nonsense out of me. I am so thirsty for the connection. I cant live another day feeling so disconnected.
Now Is the time for God's People to ARISE and what am I doing feeling so diconnected ? I just want to fight harder. I think I'm not fighting hard enough. I'm SO hungry and chewing on the earthly food doesnt fill me. I feel so HUNGRY for the bread of life. For God's ultimate touch. Argh.
No I dont feel useless ;) it's a test & I dont mind it. God is just dealing with the inner me I believe. hahaz

happy? YES i'm SO SO happy. I know one person who loves me aloottttt .
My bestest best friend ofcourse. and He is Jesus :D

Well hearing to Even greater by Planetshakers. So inspires me :) kaw kaw.

YES I BELIVE FOR MORE. & people of Taiping get prepared to be knocked down by the Holy Spirit.
I'm getting goosebumps talking about it. haha. Shivers shivers.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I SCREAM ON TOP OF MY LUNGS

I'm crazily deeply unconditionally in love. IN LOVE WITH JESUS.

* miss my guitar guy. it's been a month.

2010-08-16T13:16:00.002+08:00

so this is where I am...
the Computer Lab thinking about the piece of tshirt I dint purchase. regretting to core...and cant get it out of my head. Still thinking if I should get it or not ?
While shopping I was thinking, Imagining if I was fasting SHOPPING what would happen? haha. Will I manage ? herms. maybe one day I will try :) winx. Deny the flesh and live up for God :)

What's happening with me ?
Alot, I'm searching to be precise. I'm searching for the person I've lost deep within me. I'm in a serious battle between flesh & Spirit. I'm not shame to share this because I believe many are searching too.... tempted ? Yea I do get tempted. there are numerous temptations here. a never ending list of DO's that wouldn't make me a proud christian to live. I know clearly I dont want those, I know clearly, I want to fight it...the process of fighting isnt easy. It's a wise thing that God kept me home to get to know him for 1 whole year. If I dint go through that process..today i'm sure I've gone too far into the world, that to pull me back would have been really difficult.
I thank God that even though I'm far behind I'm still in front.

Whenever I think of my situation, I see it so small by the side of what Jesus went through for me. So the question rises - Do i really want to do all this ? and disappoint the one who paid the price for me ?

Alot of things are bothering me, but like Josh Seb Preached yesterday,
YOU take control of your emotions/feelings, and dont allow it to take control of you :)
I say AMEN to his spirit. Actually to all four of em who really did a good work as first timers. (Josh Seb, Hsulynn, Jason and a Nigerian brother)

It's better to shine in the Courtyard of heaven then to get burn in hell :)
So give it a thought whenever You get tempted.
I pray so I will continue to remain in his spirit :)

More than that, I'm just busy and hoping to rock Taiping this Friday.
INFUSERS...I miss Ya'll

2010-08-15T10:21:00.003+08:00

One thing I love about God...

hermms. actually. EVERYTHING about God is just amazing.

His love is everlasting.

He himself is never ending...

He is filled with surprises

He has the master PLAN. and his PLANS are always the best. :)

I want to get drunk again.

so drunk in his spirit.

Owh Lord...I'm thirsty for you.

I'm addicted to your love

I'm addicted to the Holy Spirit

I'm addicted to your anointing.

I just want more of You.

2010-08-11T20:21:00.002+08:00

Where are you ?

A prince from afar i see...with the guitar...

staring right at me.

in the midst of a thousand people, your focus...just on me.

that shine in you eyes.... make me go crazy.

As you prick the strings to your guitar..

so gentle you form it into a tune...

a love song for You & me to remember.

A song sang out loud.

a song where U and I are together.

A dream I see..

You in a form of a shadow, so close yet so far.

I come close to you, and you whisper it into my ears and when I open my eyes You disappear.

it does hurt, i do scream.

Some mornings I sleep in....hoping you would come again.

Where are you ?

come and take me with you. slit that ring onto my finger...make me yours forever.

Show your face to me. Bring me close to you.

Let two become one.

I know one thing....

something I'm so sure of,

and that is...

I LOVE YOU

2010-08-10T16:32:00.002+08:00

hello. :)

Firstly, I did not go for the make over.

WHY ? because of one reason YOU wont approve it.. if you could have told me I know it'd be a BIG NO. .

currently I'm at uni, tired and warned out as ever but I'm preparing my heart for God's message at fellowship later :) hope to have a fun time at CF. I've thons of unfinished tutorials and assignments and notes. Starting to get cold feet due to all this accumulating of work.

hahax. but Jesus said I can do it. AMEN.

guess thats all.

P/s I really miss you. and as days pass I wish that you were with me. after class, when i come home from a tired day I'd have YOU to tell HOW ANNOYING was the printer today :( Owh Lord :(

2010-08-09T18:31:00.003+08:00

Happenings :)

to be precise. Mirror's Magazine is having their annual glam search. AND Maybelle went for the make over, then I was very much encouraged to go for it too, thinking WOW goodie bag filled with nice expensive make up. But when Maybelle brought back the goodie bag after her make over...nothing much was in the bag. sigh.but the make over made her look gorgeous. :) So I'm still considering it. hahax. since i've a free day tomorrow. :P

I loved the freshkon contact lens make over which i went for before :) worth all the energy. haha. I got like alot of stuff. Contact lenses, then the contact lens case and all sorta other expensive stuff :) hahax.

Ok moving on...

Classes are COLD. I freeze to numbness. Busy too. I've so much pending work already. I so MUST start working on em one by one. I've tutorials that are piling up. I've notes to complete. *screams*. [i so wish G-guy was around]

I have also started to have dark circles now. Owh Gosh. Worst part, the divisional office people even memorized my name from the numerous visits that I've been paying them this last two weeks. haha. Oh gosh, now I've to be disciplined. lolz.

So thats pretty much some updates. Love all.

God Bless U.

2010-08-05T20:24:00.002+08:00

I am really tired. Accounting is scaring the soul out of me.

English assignment is worst. I cant even figure out what points is useful. Management is really boring. OMG. maybe because there wasnt a microphone available today. Despite sitting infront I coould hardly hear a thing. I almost "fish" sleep. [eyes open but mind shut] hope next week goes fine.

I'm soooo tired. really really exhausted ready. No energy at all. I need to recharge...SLEEP early I hope tonight. with the work piling up, i'm really getting scared. :)

Library printers hates me :( i need to get one of that now. A printer ...haix. so much spending.

k love ya'll earthlings.

Love Jesus always. amen

2010-08-04T19:42:00.002+08:00

best praises goes to YOU JESUS that you never fail to show me the way when there seems to be NO WAY. although almost everytime i dont understand your ways but It gets me through and at the end of the day you sure draw that smile on my face... hahax.

I had a superlicious tiring 'girls day' out. went out with my classmate Zilla. crazy mad. I dint know she was adventurous too. but to the extreme. I'm still the beginner of being adventurous and I think i'll stay in this stage. hahax. we romed almost whole of SUBANG area..

Covered ss15 and covered carrefour ;) next to cover is Subang Parade and Empire Mall :) winx winx.Covered part of Sunway coz my feet started to hurt so bad. blame the slippers. bad bad. need to get a decent pair of flip-flops. I lurrvveee banana republic. hope to get one pair for my self real soon. hahazz.

to just make me feel alot better i decide to paint my nails deep purple :) yeap. the one that looks like black but it's purple not black.

Haha. met two handsome FRENCH men at uni today ;) awwww. one was handsome la. the other was in casual wear dint attract me at all...

bumped into Vinod and Hariq too -.- LIKE OMG. vinod is ok la. HARIQ ? haha. that was so unexpected :) owh good Lord.

what else? guess thats all. I covered everything. I'll post up some pictures soon =) just for those friends who are missing HOME (TUC) hahax.

MISS YOU ALL SO SO MUCH. esp my ICPU buddies.

2010-08-01T22:30:00.002+08:00

I've been trying to upload a picture for the past almost 1 hour. but the loader is SO DARN slow. forget it. to get a view of my new hairstyle just go to FB.

back to routine. a big gap between lecture. NO ACCESS to portals yet. ahh. I cant even check BB7. I still love BB6. nometa how technologically programmed can BB7 be, the BB6 was simple and easier to access. :)

I'm hungry and I am transport deprived here. Lord, please add cab services and bus services here PLEASE. amen.

Guess I just need to sleep now. Sleep deprivation is building up and to avoid that, I'm gonna sleep early. hahax.

love love.

Pam

2010-07-30T22:59:00.002+08:00

Frequent enough people ask me - how is it like to be a Christian...

I say - it's awesome & amazing.

it's a journey, it's a walk, it's something different :)

experience it yourself, you will never regret and that is a PROMISE.

For eternity I'll love him who paid the price for me on the CROSS.

Jesus Christ..

Frisbee tomorrow @Infuse.

It's a Pologround,Ipoh. attend it. It'll be fun. Unfortunately I wont be going. I've truck loads of things to do at this current moment. critical times :)

I dont understand alot of things at the moment, but then again scripture kicks in - LEAN NOT UNTO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING...so I'm really looking forward to understand God's godly holy plan. AMEN. great.

Visited Kingdom City last weekend credits to VilSern leh. Met Arvind & Yvonne - the cute couple. and truck loads of other young adults :) Ps.Rudy and pretty Smantha was there too. she is so adorable...

"what's next?" hahax. *winx*

Pastor Evans' voice plays in my mind right now - "I'm Blessed"

AMEN..

DECLARE it so it shall happen to YOU :)

and I declare that LOVE NEVER FAILS [even the bible says so]

for true LOVE casts of FEAR.

and nothing is greater than the FEAR of the LORD.

P/s -cant wait to meet Ps.Mark of Kingdom City hopefully SOON.

2010-07-29T10:34:00.005+08:00

Done with nails & hair.
Shorter hair and nicer shiny nails :D

2010-07-24T22:10:00.003+08:00

why is it, YOU matter so much to me ??

My heart is like being pressed right now, i feel a mixed feeling of scared nervous, happy and excited. ANXIETY not forgetting which is causing me to feel like I'm gonna faint. haha. Weird weird.

Met Jasmeet after like AGES long. haha. Ok basically both of us stood there trying to remember each other's face after like 8 years not seeing each other. HAHA. but we managed to say HI :p [I know am hot so STOP STARING will U :P ]

So grandfather's prayers is still on till tomorrow, it ends lunch time. You can still come :) hahax.

it's at Changkat Gurdwara, batu gajah, Perak.

So now I'm off to go get some snooze. am really tired. a long day.

Love,

Pam

2010-07-22T23:45:00.002+08:00

I need to get a pedicure PRONTO. I'm like accumulating dead skin on my feet -.- I feel my feet is so heavy now. [drama queen]

I am tired. I know I'm not going to get enough rest this weekend. With the prayers on tomorrow I'll be busy helping out. Well I still honor my GOD first ok. Jesus comes first for me. Nometa what.

I did not manage to invest in my new look. Now investing on something else. Guess I'm scratching out getting my hair done & cut...and save it on something wayyy better ;)

target : 1 1/2 month. I managed before am sure to manage now too. Say Hallelujah Amen.. all things are possible for him who believe. :) tee hee.

i've eating all the food I wanted to eat...

now my taste buds are NUMB. nothing has taste to my tongue now. the receptors are taking a short break. went for a vacation to timbuktu .. hahaha

owh Pam Pam. silly jokes.

Ok then. Now am off to sleep.

PS : Happy Birthday MARX :)

2010-07-19T23:40:00.003+08:00

haircut
hairdo
new look

those are things I need to do :)

I love today. Basically I managed to munch on some pancakes ..after wanting to eat it so bad for ages long.every bite was so precious to me. haha

Had a good bonding time with Lola, had to clear somethings and understand some things so here I go again....winx.

So visited the gym guy today..first before seeing him i thought he was gonna turn out bad. but when he waved and smiled...OK MELTED -.- big time. then again, good looking people tend to remind me of the fact "Good looking guys are never trustable" hermmmss..guess that's not wrong. Most good looking guys are full of themselves...if one can prove they are different...I'll be impressed I shall say :)

OMG still screaming. :) haha.

I'm tired and a lil exhausted but today I learnt alot...and GOD is really working greatly. I just thank God for he never fails to place the good things and remove the bads...Just surrender...and GOD will come like superman to the rescue.

P/S - God is superman. and all other action hero :) amen.

goodnight

Love,

Pam

2010-07-17T21:39:00.002+08:00

"...because I'm programmed to love YOU"

something I'd say someday. haha.

Well thats nice to say right.. haha.

funny funny. who uses pick up lines nowdays ?

Well, I sure need "How to fall in love for DUMMIES"

is there such a book ? herms..

guess can get one for myself. -.- [hahahax]

waiting for Mindy to pass me BOY MEETS GIRL. cant wait to read that book :)

I'm so excited to know whats it all about. ;)

Ok I so want to know hows it like to be in Love out of the WILL OF GOD. Awesome.

I love God. I love all things that God does. It's always amazing ;)

So I'm sorta preparing my self, heart, mind & soul. AHHHHH Jesus I so need YOU.

Guess I'm gonna go continue what i'm doing now.

Love all

2010-07-16T20:16:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone.

Well, my grandfather dint survive after all....he died... just when we left the hospital, they decided to put him on oxygen and some kinda medicines which lead him to death instead of LIFE.

Well he lived a joyous life. He died at 96 after seeing 25 of his great grandchildren..well I guess thats amazing :)

Yes I do miss my grandfather dearly. I've not even able to embrace the fact that my uncle whom I loved the most died 6 years ago, I'm not too sure how am I going to absorb the death of my grandfather into my mind. So far coping well, with the grace of God, I'm sure to get through this well. [selfconvincing]

I dont wish to say much about this..

I just miss him dearly.

I just pray his soul reaches heaven

i've to be strong for my Dad...

I've to stand by him..as he goes through this pain of losing his father.

I hope all this passes by soon.

I jst burry all my pain of losing my grandfather at the cross. Lord, come and heal my broken heart. It's all Yours. I Love You always & forever. AMEN.

thanks for all the Condolence wishes friends. thanks for being by my side...

thank You church members..thank You Loreen.

Thank You Jesus.

Praise be to God alone.

2010-07-13T22:28:00.002+08:00

hospitals. Critical Wards.

FLASHBACK :(

When My uncle was dying on the stretcher and the doctors werent around :(

Ahhh...a waste.

If he was alive today...things would be different, I would be half way through my medical degree...

ENJOYING life in India. :)

Owh Well, God does things for a reason. I still remember all those things he told me. I know they all have the largest hope on me, I'm like seen as the BACKBONE of the whole family :(

it's been ages long since my love for medicine DIED. it got MURDERED in 2004 and it never came back... thanks to CIRCUMSTANCES.

Do i feel sad about it ? Well YEAH sometimes, but then it hits me...

I'm a Chrisitian, I've GOD who is the ACTUAL healer, so why bother is I'm a doctor or not ?

God sure has better plans for me. :) and his plans are always A+++ ones.

As for now, I hope my grandfather gets well soon. out of the critical ward back to home. Hallelujah AMEN.

how do i get YOU to text me ? *grins* IMY

2010-07-12T13:54:00.002+08:00

so the World Cup 2010 goes to : Spain [claps]

I stopped watching the day Germany lost the first time to Ghana. :)

I quit watching world cup this season that day.

Hope to watch a better match four years to come....

As for today, It's a Monday with a LONG list of chores.

thanks Mum, You never leave me without a list.

Sigh.

Lolxx.

2010-07-11T20:22:00.002+08:00

I'm sleepy.
Yeah well, I've been looking for BOY MEETS GIRL by Joshua Harris..sadly I'm still not able to find it yet. Sigh to the max. about my "dream" Post, I decided to just delete it due to certain reason. :)

I'm just not up to really share my dream yet..

Current WISH, I could make a trip to India real soon :)

Shanku & Jiju is coming in Dec, and wedding is also soon..hahax.

I just LOVE INDIA. Delhi is like MY city. I love the shops, the street, the people....the SCENT. It has this special scent....makes me feel like I'm HOME. Haha.

I wish for a budget holiday.

Owh Lord Jesus, I'm in so much of HOPE for a holidayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahax.

Rights, as for now, I'm gna go laze around.

Love all.

Hallelujah.

2010-07-08T22:53:00.002+08:00

You got me going when I was broken at conference,

You saw me when I was invisible,

U wiped my tears when I was crying and looking out for someone to come embrace me,

I love You Lord,

I know sometimes things dont go as I wished it could have gone. I know somethings when it's not meant to be it's just not meant to be, and I believe U've a better plan for me.

But this punch in my heart is just painful,

I feel so confused now...

I need YOU again... fill me.

I wish I could cry but i feel like my tear bags are empty...nothing seems to come out.

request : turn my mourning into dancing. please.

amen :)

Love You Lord.

Send to me my prince, I want to be hugged and loved too.

I want to receive flowers too, and random "IMY" text messages :)

I'm tired of waiting.

...

Goodnight.

2010-07-08T09:07:00.002+08:00

Love is a marvelous thing....

Love works in many ways but God never fails to show us his love, it's just sometimes we become too blinded with the things of the world, we dont get to see the reality that GOD loves us most. He is our heavenly father...his Love is the Love that never fails, and has no limit neither end.

I give my self to you Jesus...because u are worthy...
worthy of all praise and honor :)

U're my redeemer.

I love you Jesus, i love YOU. and besides You there can never be another....

It is GOD who makes the path infront of us FLAWLESS :) he makes our walk an easy journey,

Guard our self, buckle up and trust with faith....in God

LORDD..

a shout out for GOD : THANK YOU. I love You, You Love me.

p/s : Yhow did you know about my favourite song?? -.-" U are cute tho :D in my fav color. winx winx.

2010-07-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

Simply fabulous. :)

To cheer me up. VERY EASY.

like chewing gum easy :) haha.

1. bring me WHITE orchids. or Lilies :)

roses can lah -.-

[if u love me bring me BLOOD red roses]

2. Bring me PURPLE or WHITE or baby PINK balloons. acceptable.

*i wonder if u read my blog....hmmmmm

2010-07-06T10:34:00.002+08:00

What am I excited for ?

I'm waiting for JULY to PASS. and I'm excited for August :)

August is the month most awaited.

Yesterday, I cried it out to mum, how much I seriously DONT want to go back to KL.

there is nothing there in store for me but pain from the past :(

I wish I wasnt here but when the only option remains, be it even though it's gonna hurt, i've to grab it. Otherwise I'll be left out. Well, God places us all at a place for a reason, I dont know why I'm being placed at some place I seriously HATE. well God has his plan I shall not go against it. God is going to work things out for me. *smiles*

RAWR PAM RAWR :)

2010-07-05T22:59:00.002+08:00

how does it feel like when you feel like people really dont get it that your heart is made of muscles and tissues that can get hurt and not of cement or concrete ??? owh It seriously isnt a nice feeling at all.

i feel like I just got punched in the heart. Painful but tolerable. I know the best thing to do is soak in the presence of God right now, and I think I'm going to go do that now. I've like a KLCC tall tiredness piled up. Not because I did anything today but because I'm mentally exhausted. My mind is in a mess.not mentioning it has started to clog and it feels like it's getting rusty too....

I need a hug. I need love & care. :(

I feel deprived of those today.

Sigh.

wishes that just remains wishes sometimes. :(

2010-07-04T12:59:00.002+08:00

More things I wish to experience.....

My Wishlist is never ending...

well, Birthday :) haha. Ok not necessarily birthday ONLY. But any other occasion wouldnt matter too, like "anniversary" like hermmmsss... I dont have any yet to remember...Lol.Other than that, maybe "get well soon" or "congratulations" or "i miss you" or "i love you"..

haha. anything that is suitable. =)

&&& I like this idea. Yeah.Checkout the picture. Cool Nit ?

Hope to get something like it sometime in future....

Well IF it's from my boyfie [when i have one] Let him know, i dont mind getting smtg like those pictures & he is the only MODEL. :)

hehe. Sweeettttt. Propose to me this way, I'll marry u on the spot - literally. lolx.

p/s : credits to Dinesh's Profile. Lol. SPOT DINESH PEOPLE in the picture. haha. Sorry lah, i had to steal this picture.

2010-07-03T13:58:00.002+08:00

Get together with INFUSERS. the Arise Team. was reall fun.

You people are the reasons why i have this HUGE smile today :)

Thank You Jesus for blessing me with such great friends.

us- checking out Kelvin's Version of OMG

Kelvin did a great JOB. U're truly blessed brother.

I had fun & NO i dint manage to dab on any make up but just base -.- and eyeliner. OK. Plan failed.lolx.

I had my nails done too thanks to Mama Lola and Mindy :)

I love Jesus. I love my Infusers.

Love,

Pam

ps:more pictures on FB :)

2010-07-01T23:28:00.002+08:00

this is so odd, but I'm actually surfing the net for make-up tutorials.

OK worst. I just realize am so dumb with make up. I dont know the simplest of things...

I dont know how to apply a Liquid foundation when it's one of the EASIEST steps on earth.

owh good gracious..

lets hope I manage to not look like a drag queen.

I'm hoping to get this pink cheeks with lips look :)

lowering the eye makeup because my eyes are blocked with glasses. cant afford contacts at the moment. Maybe i'll get em when i head back to KL :(

KL KL KL. ahhhhhhhhhh. *scream on top of my lungs*

sometimes i wish I was already living in KL. struggle level will be low...but well, it's through all this that we can become stronger. to look it in the positive way is the best way to live =)

So guess I'm off to sleep now. heartpalpitation rising due to............- not telling

Germany vs Argentina soon. another scary match. owh lord.

Love all. Mwahx

Love Jesus

2010-06-30T10:31:00.003+08:00

somthing to talk about

something to shout about

something to brag about.

Because Jesus is an awesome God :)

I've alot going on in my mind. But nothing can stop me from falling in love again & again & again with the same person. With Jesus-lah... =)

Fantabulous God ok. No kidding.

I wish

: to print my footsteps along a the beach and take a picture of it =)

I know it's crazy but well, I love doing crazy things.hahax.

2010-06-25T13:50:00.003+08:00

these are the things I want to do :)

I want to watch Toy Story 3
I want to go for a picnic
I want to take lotsa lotsa pictures
Buy new christian books to read - Yet to read Captivating suggested by Mindy
Eat lotsa Ice Cream & Pretzels & Famous Amos & Cotton Candy
Sleepovers at Lola's :)

Lets Go - Picnic

2010-06-24T11:25:00.002+08:00

Lady Gaga on Glee? wat a spoiler. seriously. It just makes Glee not fun to watch. I find Glee is getting boring...and I've quit watching it. Well I also have to pick the right shows to watch now :) hahax... I dont want to make all this an influence. I mean the devil is very smart, he knows my weaknesses and tries to attack me and all that.... I need to make my stand :)

things I want to do this one month :-

Go for a Picnic
Watch nice movies
Have a fellowship get together and pray pray pray
pick up make up skills.

Yea it's time I dab on some makeup when I go out. I guess. I know I've been saying that like forever now but I hardly put it to action..haha.

Lalala.Lets stop makeup talk and get to reality. I really want to go for a picnic....lets hope it's soon